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Not Worth It

Sep
11



Cabury Raspberry Triple Decker

I’ve been meaning to get ahold of one of these Cadbury Triple Decker bars for some time now. I can’t remember where I originally hard about them, but I do recall the first thought that passed through my mind when I did: “WANT”. The original variety was a strawberry flavor, yet when I saw this raspberry version in an import store I didn’t feel like being choosy. I knew what I wanted and I went for it.

Sometimes the anticipation of a candy gets the best of me.

It’s an extremely beautiful bar with a bright fuschia pink top, a white chocolate middle and milk chocolate bottom. It looks like a beautiful chocolate Neapolitan. Despite the stunning appearance, this unfortunately didn’t taste like much at all. I do get some sweetness, but not a lot, surprisingly. I can’t taste the difference between the white and milk chocolate. I don’t even get any “chocolatelyness” from this bar. What I do taste though is the frutiness from the raspberry flavor. It’s very light with notes of raspberry, strawberry and grape. It reminds me of a berry flavored Popsicle.

It’s a shame that this bar lacks the flavor punch that the appearance suggests. If only it tastes as nice and it looks.

Rating: Not Worth It

 

Not Worth It

Links:
Cadbury Australia Website


Sep
10



Haribo Brixx Package

Haribo (rhymes with Caribou) is a German confectionery company that is the largest gummi and jelly candy manufacturer in the world. How’s that for an impressive opening statement? They are most well known for their Gummi Bears, which they invented, along with many other classic favorites. Like many candies I feature here, I’ve only gotten familiar with them in recent years and am working my way though all their delicious confections.

Haribo Brixx caught my eye immediately because of the beautiful red package, along with how unique the candy itself is. The Brixx look like little thick rectangles, similar to licorice chunks in a way. They have a “cut” side exposed with six holes filled with a white cream and the whole thing is dusted with some sort of sugar. I’ve read different descriptions online saying it’s either sour or fizzy, and I didn’t know which to believe or expect. To keep things interesting, the Brixx also come in three colors: yellow, red and green.

 

Haribo Brixx

After my first few pieces, I’m immediately struck by how odd the texture of these are. I expected it to be gummi like, but instead it’s more chewy like licorice. It feels grainy, thick and substantial with a good chew.

Green: The flavor is very sour from the sugar coating (ah ha!) and the flavor is akin to green apple: very bright, floral and juicy. The cream here doesn’t really add anything.

Red: It’s hard to lay my finger on this flavor, but my best guess is strawberry. It’s sweet with fruity notes that learn on the berry side. It’s the least tart of the bunch, but the sour kick does work with it, even though it’s an odd paring with strawberry.

Yellow: This was a surprise. It tastes like pear and this one isn’t as tart as the green apple. The pear flavoring is pleasant and works well with the sour coating. I find it quite unique. On a side note: during my tastings, I got one yellow one that tasted really…off. It’s flavor was of burnt plastic. I’m hoping that’s a fluke.

I loved the texture of these. I didn’t find that I tasted the “cream” inside, but maybe that’s where that subtle sweetness resides. The sour is so strong it’s hard to tell where it’s coming from. The sour coating as odd though, and after a few pieces my mouth began to hurt from the sourness of it. It’s a shame, cause they’re so much fun to chew and the flavors are good, I just don’t want to burn my mouth raw with these, cause pain and candy don’t mix in my mind.

Happy I tried them, but I won’t be getting them again. There’s bigger and better Haribo candy to try!

Rating: Not Worth It

 

Not Worth It

Link:
Haribo Website

 


Sep
02



Pineapple Lumps

I can’t say what attracted me more to this candy bar: the fact that it uses pineapple as a base flavor or its unusual name. Maybe both? This candy bar hails from New Zealand where they strike me as more adventurous and broad with their confections. Still, what’s up with Pineapple Lumps? I don’t really consider lumps of any kind appetizing, so I can’t understand how this name seemed like a good idea.

Inside the package there’s two thin flat rectangular bars, er, lumps. They’re coated in mockolate since the ingredients list has no cocoa butter or liqueur in it, just vegetable oil and cocoa powder. At least there’s real pineapple juice concentrate in here, right? For the sake of experimentation I decided to eat one half of the “twin bar” at room temperature and the other frozen. That’s my best surmise as to how lumps should be eaten.

The smell is of sweet, diary-like chocolate. It reminds me of Halloween candy in that faint sugary/chocolate sort of way. I do also detect a bit of frutiness, but I can’t pin it to a specific fruit, not even the pineapple. The first bite has a good give to it. It’s not totally soft like marshmallow and it’s not hard like a Charleston Chew. The coating just tastes “sweet” and easily flaked off the very soft and strangely textured center.

As for the pineapple center? Think of it texture-wise as a dense, spongy, slightly grainy marshmallow. The flavor is fruity but I’m reminded more of Juicy Fruit gum than I am of pineapple. There’s a tropical-ness to it with some tangyness, but somewhere something goes wrong and it gets a strange sweetness and a funny bubblegum-like flavor.

Eating this is a totally different beast when it’s frozen. The squishy interior becomes rock hard and cleaves off in sharp chunks when bitten into, leaving a flawlessly clean break. The texture of it in the mouth is slightly tacky at first, then it deflates immediately into a filmy paste than quickly melts away. You only notice the odd flavor briefly, so all you manage to taste is the overly sweet mockolate left behind.

Overall a very odd candy. I’m happy to have tried it for the novelty value but it’s not something I’m not going to seek out again.

Rating: Not Worth It

 

Not Worth It


Aug
25



Sweet Vellies

Sometimes something sounds so strange, you just have to try it. That’s exactly what prompted me to try Sweet Vellies. My love of fruit jelly candy obviously far surpasses the name, as these are vegetable juices instead. Yes, you heard me, vegetables. So how else to test my love for a certain confection with a flavor assortment that’s totally out of the box?

I found these on a recent venture into New York City at The Sweet Life down in the lower east side. I couldn’t tell much from the very simplistic packaging they came in as they didn’t list anything other then the name and ingredients. There wasn’t even a flavor key! Still, I knew these would be something terribly unique and were worth a try. I even Googled them once I was back home and didn’t find much information. I got a suggestion of flavors (Mint, Tomato Basil, Red Pepper, Strawberry Rhubarb, Beet, Corn, Lemon Verbena, Blueberry Sage, Carrot Ginger, Passion Fruit) but not that it helped me very much.

When I went to taste them a few days later, I couldn’t even eat the one package as it molded right away. Phooey. A suggest shelf life would have been a nice addition to the packaging.
I noticed some differences right away. First, the texture is grainier than other pates that I’ve had, which I found very strange. I’m used to smooth, dense jelly but these felt as if some of the pulp of the vegetables were kept intact. It was strange at first, then I didn’t mind it so much after a few bites.

Dark red: Very sweet, immediately fresh, juicy and tart. I think it’s blueberries, raspberries and beets.

Green: Minty with sharp underlying tart notes that I can’t really place. Maybe cucumber?

Light yellow/green: This one is hard to describe, as it tastes slightly sweet and starchy. I think this is corn.

Opaque yellow: Whoa, ok, no, that last one wasn’t corn. This one is and it’s awful. I immediately spit it out. It tastes like hardened creamed corn soup.

Orange: This one is easy to peg: tomato basil. It tastes of slightly sweet spaghetti sauce.

An interesting idea with horrible execution. It felt like playing Russian Roulette with the flavors and none of them tasted interesting to me at all. Keep the vegetables at the dinner table, ok?

Rating:Not Worth It

 

Not Worth It

Links:
Sweet Vellies at the Sweet Life Website


Aug
11



Jolly Rancher Package

This is one candy that I fail to understand why it has so many fans. I remember seeing childhood friends opt for Jolly Ranchers over a KitKat or a Milkyway (gasp!) and feeling totally nonplussed by it. Perhaps the fact that the they were just a “cool” candy because the colors were bright, the flavors fake, and the fact that every business had them in a candy basket for us to grab when the parents weren’t looking.

I wasn’t so desperate for sugar, as my parents rationed it to me well, so I found I didn’t eat Jolly Ranchers at all. Oddly enough something about the flavors always stuck with me, partly because they are so iconic in how artificial they taste. I find myself referencing the Jolly Rancher flavors often, so I decided it was time I tried them again and give them a full review.

Opening the bag up it smells sickeningly sweet and of chemicals. The smell is so mixed up that I can’t identify a single specific flavor. Once unwrapped the candies are cylindrical and pretty to look at with their semi opaque colors. The surface is mostly smooth except in spots where it gets tacky from moisture.

 

Jolly Rancher

Blue Raspberry: I really don’t get what’s up with this flavor, really, blue raspberries? It’s tart with strong floral flavors mixed with melon and berries. It turned my tongue blue.

Watermelon: Intensely tart and powerful flavors right away. It’s artificial with sharp perfume-y notes and a juicy fruitiness. There’s also hints of bitterness lurking in there that I don’t find very pleasing.

Green Apple: Sweet, with strong juicy apple nuances. It reminds me of a very strong cider. There’s a tartness to them which makes me think of granny smiths. There’s a slight perfume-y aftertaste, yet I really like this one.

Cherry: This one is intense right away. The flavor is very deep, woodsy, and with a strong fruitiness. It reminds me of tart cherries and it really gets my saliva going. I was frightened that this would be very medicinal tasting, but it’s not.

Grape: Tastes of Dimetapp Elixir. It’s mainly sour and metallic with the grape flavor only showing briefly from time to time. It’s very syrupy sweet and artificial. Like the others, there’s an odd floral note and it just launched this flavor into the “nasty” zone. I spit this one out.

These are not any better from what I remember. In fact, they’re worse. Little about Jolly Ranchers appeal to me and I am once again stumped by them. Especially since my roommate was so happy to take the rest of the bag and then proceeded to polish them all off in one evening.

Rating: Not Worth It

 

Not Worth It

Links:
Jolly Rancher Website


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