Inedible
So bad I couldn't finish it.
This is a chocolate that I’ve seen around many places, and it always caught my eye because of the interesting packaging. The chocolate comes in an adorable round tin with a couple on it and a plane, obviously ready to explore the world together. The tin is slim and light and makes this a great keepsake once the chocolate is gone.
The chocolate inside is split into separated individual pie wedges, so it’s easy to take a piece and store it for later. Or if you feel like it, share it. I like how convenient and accessible this package makes the chocolate discs. What can I say, I’m a sucker for design.
Chocolate Traveler 70%:
The chocolate here is the standard Belgian chocolate processed with alkali (meaning it had chemicals added to make it less acidic) and just has sugar and soya lecithin added to it. No vanilla or milk, which is nice since this is meant to be a dark chocolate. The chocolate has strong notes of cocoa, coffee, vanilla, caramel and cream. The break of the chocolate seems unusually soft to me, especially considering it’s 70% chocolate. The mouth feel is very smooth and creamy.
The flavor is very mild right off and I’m immediately reminded of Belgian chocolates of my childhood: very sweet and not much chocolate flavor at all. I get no stages of flavor, no nuances of anything, just straight sweetness. The finish and aftertaste, however, are very odd. I taste trees, muck and mold. Ew.
After trying and being terribly disappointed with the 70%, I ran into two other flavors a few weeks later. Once again I was lured by the cool tins and decided to see if the flavored varities improved on the chocolate. Once purchased and opened for tasting, I was immediately diappointed. Both tins are bloomed! Ashen in color and sugary in places. Is this a bad batch or a packaging problem? I won’t to buy more to find out.
Raspberry: The chocolate has a hard snap. Upon my first bite I’m immediately hit with this odd, fake raspberry flavor. It tastes odious, with notes of fake perfume which could be “raspberry” in another universe. Only at the end do you get flavor from the chocolate, and it’s sweet and reminds me of the flat flavor of cocoa powder. Blech.
Tiramisu: This one smells warm and of vanilla. I get no hints of coffee, which is a major ingredient in Tiramisu. I cautiously take a my first bite and find that this one is somewhat edible. It has strong, creamy vanilla flavors, but no real depth. It’s a very superficial chocolate flavor and I feel like I’m eating a sold hot cocoa mix. I was feeling a bit relieved at this point, but then I got this odd, chemically aftertaste in the chocolate which just made me spit it out.
This is a classic example of don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Visually these hold such promise, but I am not in any hurry to torture my taste buds with bland sub-par chocolate again anytime soon. No matter how cute the packaging is.
Rating: Inedible
Links The Chocolate Traveler Website
Ah, another E. Wedel mystery halvah bar. I bought this with the Fruit ‘n Nut one I had reviewed yesterday. I obviously wouldn’t have bought another after how horrid the other proved to be. But, since I had taken this one home too, it was my duty as a candy blogger to give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a try.
I can only guess it’s supposed to be vanilla flavored from the image on the wrapper.
Here is the jist if it: the bar smells lightly of nuts. It has the same flaky, soft texture as the Fruit ‘n Nut version, but this one is also horribly greasy. The taste is a little sweeter and less like inedible substances. Still, nothing about it strikes me as vanilla or anything pleasant.
Please, for the sake of your taste buds, leave this one in the store.
Rating: Inedible
Links
I found this bar in a Polish market. I was drawn to it because it was unusual, new, and of course Polish. I need to learn that this can mean very bad things in terms of flavor sometimes. Observing the bar, it seemed to be a log of Polish nougat. I love nougat, so into my basket it went.
Since I cannot understand Polish to save my life, I guessed that these were nougat from the photos on the wrappers. I mean, there was no translation as to what it was. Not even on the import label, which vaguely listed ingredients. I was very thankful to the artist who rendered the image on the wrapper, as it was my candy saving grace. I did drop the ball here on my role as a candy blogger, as I didn’t really research this at all. A translator could have cleared up some things for me, but I didn’t do it.
Opening the bar up I was distressed and kinda grossed out. I mean, it was greasy. Really, really, really greasy. So much so that there was actual liquid grease all over and spilled onto the table. This…. thing is wet. Sitting in a pool of greasy wetness. Ew.
I realized then that this was halvah and not nougat. Interesting.
The aroma is of nothing. A black hole has more smell than this thing. The texture was light and a little crispy on the inside. The flavor was, like the scent, non existent. It’s bland and plastic-y, and the nut and raisin bits were small and intermittent. The only lasting impression was that of the off sticky bits still stuck in my molars.
I didn’t finish this. Ick.
Rating: Inedible
There’s something about Easter Candy that I find irresistibly attractive. Like a candy siren, I cannot help be pulled in by whatever colorful design trick the package may be pulling on me. Chocolate rabbits stare at my from shelves whispering “buy me” as I walk past them. Despite the huge array of really respectable, and tasty candy I can find in stores, there’s always that call to try something, well, nasty. In 2007 I reviewed Brach’s Chicks and Bunnies which are like the rejects of the Circus peanuts. In 2008 my fancy was caught by these odd, large, brightly colored eggs, Brach’s Bunny Basket Eggs to be more specific. That selection was part fascination, as I’ve never encountered something like them before. This year, I found Atkinson’s version of the Bunny Basket Eggs. Which are very appropriately named “Hiding Eggs”.
Opening the bag I did notice that each egg is individually wrapped, which I think suggests they’re more meant for hiding for an Easter egg hunt than for eating. That’s the first warning sign I neglected to pay attention to. Secondly, these don’t feel nearly as heavy as the Brach’s ones did. The differences end there.
The eggs are smooth and the color is very saturated. The shell is thick for a candy shell, it’s like 1/8 of an inch, and it’s very hard and crumbly. Once you crack through, the insides are fluffy and grainy, like a mix of marshmallow and nougat. The flavor is horribly sweet and artificial. I selected a pink egg and I took a small bite and got a mouth full of bubblegum. Despite my instincts, I then took a bite of a green one and my taste buds were flooded with a bitter floor cleaning lime flavor. Eee-yuck.
I gave up after that. I couldn’t take more of this self torture. So bad I wish they were an April Fool’s joke. I am tempted to use them for their intended purpose and save them for photos in the fresh spring green grass.
Also be sure to check out Cybele’s hilarious review of them from last year.
Rating: Inedible
Links Atkinson’s Website
I can’t help but feel I’m beating a dead horse with this review. I did a taste test for them a bit ago during my time at CandyAddict.com and it wasn’t favorable. Granted, Skittles are not a go-to candy of mine at all, but this still didn’t prepare me for the nastiness that is contained in the chocolate mix.
Where do I begin with these? I will do my best not to rant, but I feel like I have to stress a few things about these. Firstly, why would such a successful fruity candy like Skittles try and make something chocolatey? And it’s not even real chocolate, it’s a removed, fake chocolate one. That doesn’t even sound appealing to me. Secondly, they’re not pretty to look at. Where’s the rainbow we all love to taste? Candy should do it’s best to be attractive if it can be helped, and these sadly don’t cut it. I could go on, but I won’t.
So these are neither tasty nor appealing to the eyes. But considering my last taste of these was months ago, have my taste buds changed? Only one way to find out.
Vanilla: This has a buttery bourbon vanilla taste. My thoughts turn to yellow cake mix.
Chocolate Pudding: Immediately very sweet and empty tasting, like bad cocoa. It’s bland, nasty and artificial. Not even remotely chocolatey.
Chocolate Caramel: This one tastes flat and very chemically. This doesn’t even get to the level of a tootsie roll it’s so fake and removed.
S’mores: Has more of a sweet graham marshmallow vanilla flavor
Brownie Batter: Something about this does read as brownie. It’s starchy and reminds me of the powder in a boxed mix. Fake, fake, fake.
So, the best flavor in this chocolate mix is the vanilla. That makes sense right? I can’t stress enough how much these are to be avoided.
Oh, and I don’t even like that Pinata Man in the commercials. He’s creepy.
Rating: Inedible
Links
Skittles Webpage
